Everyone is meant to do something. No matter how busy a person gets, how long they put things off, how discouraged they might become, something remains. On the back-burner, the upstairs room in the hope chest, the poetry in your mom’s shoebox, that moment holding the hand you forgot about. You once knew love, you used to hope, everything was yours.

Everyone guards a treasure.

Piece by piece, they tore down your school. You moved and left your house and your friends behind. The kindly old man in the corner store who would always offer a warm smile went away. Things weren’t the same after this and that.

Everyone guards a treasure.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into years. The trophies you held dear were now buried in the earth, beneath years of here-and-now. Nothing, it seemed, would persist. Nothing would be good or right in the world.

And with your memories all knowledge of your treasure was swept away.

One day, in a morass of conformity, in uniformity, I dared to remember light. There was no reason to hope, all that I was had eroded beyond remedy; all my belief, all my worth, all a house of cards. But though I am dying, I will die trying. I will seek the only vestige of truth, I will take the unlikely chance. I will risk escape, this death-pact my only chance, my hollow chance.

I will remember my treasure.

For I guarded it once, I dined in the palace of kings. I was the favored one. I didn’t know regret; I hadn’t been taught to cheat, to steal, to settle, to be content with the shame and the disappointment the mirrors persuaded me of.

And that is not my fate, it never was;  this was the time we were born for, the day for which we were made. This is the day I open it, the price for being free, the sum of my purchase price.

I will find my treasure, everyday.

Jan 11, 2011

Today, in Charlotte, it snowed a whole bunch. I was, consequently, trapped in my house (well, kinda).

Sometimes I get on the internet and just look for the most obscure music I can find. It’s like I’m trying to find a new sound, discover something new that I didn’t expect existed. Do you guys ever feel that way?

What I’ve come to realize is that the desire I’m feeling is my own need, my own calling to create, and it can never be fulfilled by searching outside myself. I must convince myself that I am capable, that it is within me to bring something utterly new to the table. The bold surprise I’m looking for is in my soul, waiting to be realized. I must believe and have the faith it takes to believe that God has created me uniquely, and have the serenity to be comfortable to be in my own skin and realize myself.

What do you feel is within you? What do you feel called to do? You can tell me in the comments. Thank you.

I was just thinking about the history of Japan.

One of the things I’ve always admired about Japan historically is their desire for excellence. In traditional Japanese society, everyone, regardless of trade, was completely focused on the concept of perfection. Whatever they did, they gave their highest dedication. Looking back, modern eyes see the decline of that culture, the demise of the geisha and samurai, and feel wistful. But at the time, they realized that they had fallen behind the pace of history.

In religion we likewise see a desire for perfection. But even in the conception of that perfection, we can clearly see that it has changed just as the times also have. I think what we see as perfection is an embodiment of the principles that transcend ages and cultures. That may be, but I’m certain there’s more to this story.

God, invested in the destiny of his creation, shows us a new side, a new facet, creating a new discovery. He leaves whole worlds to explore in his wake, he leaves there stark ruins of misconception and, in the middle of our night, leaves us with innovations in the most casual way between ghost towns of thought.

It’s the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of the spirit. He who believes he has obtained perfection has not, not because it is untrue that he was doing good things or believed the right things or whatever, but because God is a moving target.

We’re begging for authenticity.

It once was that everyone knew someone who had killed someone. Everyone knew somebody that at some point in time had to fight for their life. These people had seen firsthand what a totalitarian government looked like, governments that killed their own citizens. We used to know people who had experienced the uttermost extremes of life. We used to believe we were capable of great acts.

I recently saw an exhibit that featured the art of a man who was imprisoned in the Russian gulag for some time. They told his story, that many years after he created these huge depictions of the hell on earth that was the gulag. He did it entirely in secret, even to his wife, with just concern for it’s secrecy. His was and art is a living testament to the eternal soul; the inescapability of fate, the truest rebellion of the soul against that which wars against it. This is your determination.

I watched a video online of someone about my age expounding upon the inevitable pointlessness awaiting those who live to see middle-age. He had no solution, no hope; merely a cold reading of the fate he has declared inevitable. Will we let this be who we are?

I am here to offend you. I am here to radically readjust your conception of yourself. There is no rhetoric that I will consider off limits, there will not be an end to my resolve. I am hopelessly invested in a wildest of goose-chases; but I will see it caught. And I won’t give up on you until one of us is dead.

We’re just begging to experience something, to feel like we created one of the big changes in the world. Our souls are striving to propel the world into the destiny that has been lying expectantly for it since the dawn of time. You should want to know who you are.

We are the change coming to the world. We are both the mission and the missionary. We are savages and we are princes. We are both the prize and the challenge. We are in this together and we will all run our own race.

Write your own book. When necessary, use words.

There are so many things that I loved that turned out not to be what I thought they were. Or artists, musicians that betrayed what they used to be about. Styx fired Dennis DeYoung, the founder of their band and a life-ling friend over something stupid, some personal ambition, and now they can’t write a decent tune to save their life. The school I grew up in, a good school, where the teachers cared about you and got paid next to nothing to do it, closed. They couldn’t afford to stay open. The college I got accepted to, which I spent years wanting to go to, didn’t go exactly how I had envisioned. Here I am at 24.

If things in your life haven’t been what you’d hoped, be the hope. Sometimes there’s only one thing you can point to, saying “that’s what it’s supposed to be like.” Be that thing. Be what the world needs. Endure. Persist when other wouldn’t. See the truth, that the circle of motivated people, afire to better the world, is an exclusive fraternity. Purity, wholly devoted to the pursuit of the highest goals, this is worthy of you. There are so many things that could hold you back, so many reasons not to achieve. Be the person that will search through the morass of “necessity” and needful things, “worthy goals,” “practicality,” for the one thing, the shell, the faintest trace of greatness, the abiding warmth of love from a spirit that, like a vapor, you just missed. See love where it is not. Be gentle when you shouldn’t be, when no one would hold it against you to show wrath. Someone must build it, and most never will.

There came a point when I just realized how fed up I was with my life, that anything would be better than this. I decided I would do anything, anything at all to escape the fate that was closing in around me. I did then as I do now, run in the direction you see light, however dim. Run until morning. Run beyond the point at which you are tempted to stop. Run when you are hungry, run when you are full; when you’re content, when you’re restless. Never, ever, ever stop. Don’t waste a drop of your life, because one day you will die, one day you will be out of time. Live life as one big stride. Live life “In Stride.”

I’ve been learning to play flute for about two years now, and I’ve studied some of more interesting classical composers, as well as Jethro Tull. Anytime I study music history, I’m amazed at how incredibly intelligent these guys must have been, they were like scientists before scientists were cool. Hmm, that gets me thinking…

I’ve wondered for awhile why areas of society such as art and music have become so advanced so quickly while others have not, such as medicine and government (maybe government hasn’t progressed, actually). I think I have it figured out.

We’ve progressed much faster in Art and Music because, well, they’re just more fun.

Have fun.

Some good friends of mine were recording an album with me at my studio. They are a Christian metal band, a really darn good one. We had been working on this album for about two months or so.

I’ve known these guys for a long time. They had really been struggling for a long time, trying to find a singer, then a bassist, and so on. They were struggling to find gigs, partly because they were missing members, and partly because it’s just hard to find gigs in general. There always were their core, the drummer and the guitarist, but rest has been in flux for a while.

Well, these guys finally found their guys, and had the band rounded out. They started playing shows, and won a battle of the bands. I mean, they started doing really well, playing some venues that people like Black Veil Brides and The Shinedown play.

So, like I said, two months in on their album, and we have the drum tracks, guitar track, some of vocals, bass all but wrapped up. Pulling late-nighters, eating unordinate amounts of Taco Bell, etc. I had just started mixing, mastering, finalizing a few of the tracks and they turned out marvellous. Like cry as a puppy learns to walk good. I mean, the songs are awesome and the recording is just freakin’ off the chain. Then, sure enough….

The other guitarist doesn’t show up for his session. Says he’s at work, but he’s writing stuff on Facebook. Singer doesn’t show up the next day. No call, no show. Later that week, these guys are out of the band.

Here’s my message to you. People wonder and worry all day long about how they can make their mark. How can I matter? What can I do to stand out in the world and be unique? Here’s your answer:

When you’ve got something good, stick with it. Be dedicated to something. Don’ look at the grass on the other side. Just do the right thing. I have a lot of experience when it comes to stuff like this, and I’m persuaded to think that persistence is the rarest thing in the world, so you don’t have to be something unbelievably exotic or be the most talented or the best looking or the best whatever.

For God’s sake, just do it!

Something has been on my mind for a while. During the ’90s, we saw a reemergence of ’70s musical influences. Many grunge bands, such as Pearl Jam or Soundgarden were largely re-interpretations of classic rock influences, albeit with a more modern perspective. During our era, the legacy of the ’80s has enjoyed a aesthetic renaissance. Many bands, such as the Killers or even Lady Gaga, owe a stylistic debt to the archetypes of synthpop within the New Wave or New Romantic movements. I ask, is a similar 20-year leap next on the menu? My simple answer is “No”.

Large technological strides have occurred in times before concerning the fundamentals of music recording and distribution. The advent of really good synthesizer technology in the late ’70s set the tone for a new generation of music not possible before. The ’90s had some unifying themes, to be sure (like the word “crow.” What was up with that? Sheryl Crow, Counting Crows, Black Crows, The Crow…), but the music industry was becoming very diverse, I believe, as a logical conclusion of having such a huge resource of possible influences, five decades worth. In the current music culture, the average person has so readily available the ability to promote their music that the diversity of music that exists is amazing, an exciting and wonderful situation.

My point is, the wealth of diversity we possess in music today drowns out any pervading themes which in times past could’ve been determined. Our innovation has created a new world for us, our curiosity has never failed to glance sideways. But we must look up now if we want to create something new. Now that we have obtained freedom, we must work much harder than everyone else or think much differently if we want to reach and grasp hold of “new.” Outdone by the pioneers in their garages, now unavailable to merit the title of “comeback,” those who have gone before have never left us, and in some sense was never here. Well, they’re not where I stand.

I’ve been thinking about directions to take with my new album.

Some people have written concerning creative techniques: “Give yourself a limitation, then you will have to come up with creative solutions to it.” While that idea has undoubtably produced some interesting, valuable, and worthwhile results, I might submit this:

Forget everything, have as liberal a definition of “possible” as you can. Give yourself unrestricted boundries and see what you come up with. Run faithfully and unceasingly in every direction. Be both slow-burning and spontaneous. Always change and never waiver from your course. Nothing is a substitute for freedom.

Such is the domain of man. Anything else is a self-imposed complication.

“Any Darn Fool can make something complex; only a genius can make something simple.” -Einstein